The Friday Funnies #2: Advice to our Wives
Note: these all are numbered "1" on purpose:
1. Learn to put up with the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down!
1. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes or No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
to be continued...
1. Learn to put up with the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down!
1. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes or No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
to be continued...
Labels: Humor
posted by Nicholas Z. Cardot at
12:01 AM
7 Comments:
No shopping is not a sport...it is...deep breath *sigh*... art...skill..a rare talent God blessed females with so you poor men don't have to suffer the grocery store or the mall in its darkest times. We bravely go out in search of the "great sale" armed with a few of our loving husbands hard earned dollars, gospel tracts, coupons and a kid or two (or five in my case). And if successful, return with bounty far more than you could ever imagine with so few dollars...OK too much time on my hands. I need to go grocery shopping. :)
By
Her, At
12:15 PM
Felice Say's Very FUNNY!!
Lord Bless
By
Christopher Cline, At
7:36 PM
I agree about the shopping! But then I am in a third world country so maybe it would be different if you could actually go out and find what you need. But the toilet seat thing...NO WAY! I think it should be majority vote. Of course, in my family we have 4 females to 2 males!
I just realized we never had this problem in the jungle when we only had an pout house!
By
Rita Loca, At
9:21 PM
How very funny!
By
Nicholas Z. Cardot, At
11:47 PM
I like this one.
If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
By
Christopher Cline, At
11:56 PM
Me too!
By
Nicholas Z. Cardot, At
12:23 PM
Very funny honey. It is amazing how when I lived at home with 4-5 males in the house the toilet seat was always down and now hmmmmmm! Just kidding that one does not apply to you. Shopping is an art,and it can also be therapy depending on the situation.
By
Diane Cardot, At
2:07 PM
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