My Musings

Friday, January 5, 2007

A Child of the King: The Struggle of a Troubled Youth

The following is a poem that I wrote when I was in High School. I spent much time coping with a disfunctional family situation and it took some time for me to accept God's will in this regard. This poem is the expression of that struggle and the victory that I found in Christ.

Walking through life as time passes me by,
Surrounded by people who can’t hear my cry.
Living and searching for a place to belong,
I find in my heart there’s no joy, there’s no song.
Where is my place in this world of despair?
Could anyone love, or just try to care,
For a small lonely boy at the end of his rope?
Yet no help I find, no man gives me hope.

As a child with my father, we shared such a joy,
To him I was Son, his proud little boy.
My dad was not perfect, but his love I could see,
When he’d hug me real tight as I sat on his knee.
Those times that we shared, that love that we had,
Filled my heart with great pride as I called him my dad.
As my mind now goes back and I think on those days,
My eyes fill with tears and all my sight is a haze.

Things were so grand, yet how could I see,
That life would soon take my dear father from me.
I took it for granted, that time that we shared,
Seldom would I let him know that I cared.
And now that he’s gone I understand what love is,
I’d give my own life if I could save his.
I never understood what great things I had,
Until on that day I was taken from my dad.

My mother was gone; when I was young she had fled.
She lived her own life as if I were dead.
Though I’ve missed her at times and longed for the love,
Of a mother who cares, a sweet gift from above,
I’ve learned to press on, to keep going forward.
Hoping to see her, I keep walking toward,
The goals of my life as I still long to see,
The one who has power to bring great comfort to me.

I dreamed of her often, I dreamed of her much.
To look on her face, to reach out and touch,
To live my whole life with a mother to share,
My heartaches and pains and know that she’d care.
I longed for a shoulder to cry out my fears,
A women to love and take all my tears.
But all these were dreams, fantasies at best,
So yet in my heart I still found no rest.

Walking through life as time passes me by,
Surrounded by people who can’t hear me cry.
I look up to the savior, who for me gave his life,
And I know in full faith that he can calm all my strife.
And when all had forsook me, God sent from above,
The savior to guide me through his holy great love.
Now I bow down in shame as he walks by my side;
‘Tis the greatest of all who now acts as my guide.

Walking through life as time passes me by,
Surrounded by people who can’t hear me cry.
Living and searching for a place to belong,
I now find in my heart a great joy, a great song.
I’ve now found my place in this world of despair,
For Christ gave his love, much more than mere care,
For a poor lonely boy at the end of his rope,
Christ now holds my hand and gives my great hope.

By Nicholas Cardot

“When my father and my mother forsake me, then the Lord will take me up.”
Psalm 27:10

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13 Comments:

  • WOW!!! That is an awesome and obviously heart-felt poem Bro. Nicholas. It broke my heart to think you had to go through all that. Thank God the Lord was there to help you through that. I too love that verse you quoted at the end. For 8 1/2 yrs. my parents forsook me as an adult (until about two years ago) and would have NOTHING to do with me all because I got saved and wanted to share with them what Christ had done for me and I wanted them to know and experience Him and His love too. It was the hardest 8 1/2 yrs. of my life. To know my parents were alive and could care less if I was or not....not to mention that my kids (their grandchildren) were.

    You are a tremendous testimony to have experienced such a hard situation as a teenager as you did and to have turned to the Lord and still be serving Him today. Some would have turned to drugs and violence and their lives be messed up today as a result. God bless you Brother!!!

    By Blogger Sis. Julie, At 8:56 AM  

  • What a fantastic poem! First I must say that you have a way with words and that is pure talent. That is just a awesome poem and something that most of us who have been so lost and then found can really relate to!

    By Blogger Cindy, At 9:15 AM  

  • I have grown to love God even more because of my experience. As I said, I struggled with it a lot as a teenager, but I now use it as a stepping stone to serve God in the greatest capacity that I can. I have been very effective in reaching out to other troubled teens in the youth group of the church here. I have been able to be an encouragement to them.

    I certainly don't want anyone's sympathy. I love God and I now have grown to love my situation because it is God's will in my life and I believe that it all works out for good if I love God. My desire in writing things like this is only to try to encourage others who are going through difficult times in life. I hope that people can see that God still loves you even when you are going through the trials of life, no matter how difficult.

    Sis. Julie, I am very sorry to hear about the relationship that you were forced to experience with your parents for those 8 1/2 years. You mentioned something about "until about two years ago." What happened? I would love to know how the relationship changed.

    Cindy, thank you very much for your kind words. Any "way with words" or "pure talent" that I have is completely a result of God's wonderful grace and I only hope to use my talents to bring as much Glory to Him as possible. Thank you so much.

    By Blogger Nicholas Z. Cardot, At 9:38 AM  

  • I really enjoyed this poem. You should keep writing them.It's a blessing to see what God can do in a persons life when they are willing to serve him no matter what happens. I also enjoyed your posts on missed blessings.The Lord is always wanting to bless his children when we are obedient to his will. Your posts are an encouragement and praise God you are using your blog for his Glory. God Bless.

    By Blogger Karen, At 1:18 PM  

  • Karen, I sure appreciate what you said. I am glad that you are enjoying my blog. God bless you!

    By Blogger Nicholas Z. Cardot, At 1:34 PM  

  • WOW!!! This is an awesome poem. While reading it I could almost picture myself there as if I could personally feel the heartache that you had.Thank the Lord that you turned to him. I agree that you have a way with words and that you should keep writing. God has given you a talent with words.

    By Blogger Diane, At 9:06 PM  

  • WOW! That was an awesome poem!! It was very heart felt, you can tell by the words given.
    Awesome poem, Bro. Nicholas!!!

    By Anonymous kristina, At 10:32 AM  

  • Kristina, thank you. It is heart felt because it is truly from my heart. Also, you can just call me Bro. Nick. I am too young to go by my full name other than in my signatures. Lol.

    By Blogger Nicholas Z. Cardot, At 10:37 AM  

  • What am amazingingly beautiful and heartwarming poem. Your words jumped right off the page and into my heart! You definitely have a gift of writing~ keep it up:)

    By Blogger Susan P., At 12:36 PM  

  • Okay, Bro. Nick it is! LOL

    By Blogger Kristina, At 12:47 PM  

  • Susan, thank you very much for your kind words and God bless you!

    By Blogger Nicholas Z. Cardot, At 1:03 PM  

  • Nicholas, thanks for visiting my little korner and leaving a comment.

    This poem is beautiful. I'm glad God can heal broken hearts and emptiness, b/c everyone and everything else falls so short.

    By Blogger Kristi, At 11:10 PM  

  • Absolutely. I plan to swing by your blog again in the future. Thank you for stopping by here!

    By Blogger Nicholas Z. Cardot, At 12:10 AM  

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